I Am the ‘Penis and Vagina’ Kid from the Classic 1990 Film: A Look Back.

Arnold Schwarzenegger is universally recognized as an Hollywood heavyweight. Yet, at the height of his cinematic dominance in the eighties and nineties, he also delivered several critically acclaimed comedies. The standout film is Kindergarten Cop, which hits its three-and-a-half decade milestone this December.

The Role and An Iconic Moment

In the 1990 movie, Schwarzenegger embodies a tough police officer who masquerades as a kindergarten teacher to catch a killer. For much of the story, the investigation plot acts as a simple backdrop for Schwarzenegger to film humorous scenes with children. The most unforgettable involves a little boy named Joseph, who unprompted rises and informs the actor, “Males have a penis, and girls get a vagina.” The Terminator responds dryly, “Thank you for that information.”

That iconic child was played by youth performer Miko Hughes. His career featured a notable part on Full House as the bully to the child stars and the character of the child who returns in the 1989 adaptation of Stephen King’s Pet Sematary. He continues to act today, with multiple films listed on his IMDb. Additionally, he is a regular on the con circuit. Recently recalled his memories from the filming of the classic 35 years later.

Behind the Scenes

Question: Starting off, how old were you when you filmed Kindergarten Cop?

Miko Hughes: I believe I was four. I was the smallest of all the kids on set.

That's remarkable, I have no memory from being four. Do you remember anything from that time?

Yeah, to a degree. They're brief images. They're like visual recollections.

Do you recall how you were cast in Kindergarten Cop?

My family, especially my mother would take me to auditions. Often it was like a cattle call. There'd be 20, 30 kids and we'd all simply wait around, be seen, be in there briefly, deliver a quick line they wanted and then leave. My parents would help me learn the words and then, once I learned to read, that was probably the first stuff I was reading.

Do you have any recollection of meeting Arnold? What was your impression of him?

He was extremely gentle. He was playful. He was nice, which I suppose makes sense. It'd be weird if he was unpleasant to all the kids in the classroom, that surely wouldn't foster a positive atmosphere. He was fun to be around.

“It would have been odd if he was a dick to all the kids in the classroom.”

I understood he was a major movie star because I was told, but I had not actually watched his movies. I sensed the excitement — like, that's cool — but he wasn't scary to me. He was simply playful and I was eager to interact with him when he wasn't busy. He was busy, obviously, but he'd sometimes engage here and there, and we would cling to his muscles. He'd flex and we'd be holding on. He was exceptionally kind. He bought every kid in the classroom a yellow cassette player, which at the time was the hottest tech. That was the coolest device, that funky old yellow cassette player. I used to rock out to the Power Rangers soundtrack and the Ninja Turtles soundtrack for a long time on that thing. It finally gave out. I also was given a real silver whistle. He had the referee's whistle, and the kids all were gifted copies as well.

Do you remember your experience as being positive?

You know, it's funny, that movie became a phenomenon. It was a major production, and it was an incredible opportunity, and you would think, in retrospect, I would want my memories to be of collaborating with Schwarzenegger, the legendary director, traveling to Oregon, being on a professional set, but my memories are of being a selective diner at lunch. For instance, they got everyone pizza, but I wasn't a pizza fan. All I would eat was the meat from the top. Then, the original Game Boy was brand new. That was the hot thing, and I was quite skilled. I was the smallest kid and some of the bigger kids would bring me their Game Boys to beat difficult stages on games because I knew how, and I was really proud of that. So, it's all youthful anecdotes.

The Infamous Moment

OK, the penis and vagina line, do you remember the context? Did you know what you were saying?

At the time, I probably didn't know what the word provocative meant, but I realized it got a reaction and it got a big laugh. I understood it was kind of something I wasn't supposed to do, but I was given approval in this case because it was humorous.

“My mom thought hard about it.”

How it was conceived, from what I understand, was they didn't have specific roles. Some character lines were written into the script, but once they had the kids together, it was more of a collaboration, but they worked on it while filming and, presumably someone in charge came to my mom and said, "We're thinking. We want Miko to say this. Are you okay with this?" My mom didn't answer immediately. She said, "Give me a moment, I need time" and took a day or two. She deliberated carefully. She said she wasn't sure, but she thought it will probably be one of the unforgettable moments from the movie and her instinct was correct.